About my last night

18-Apr-2014 2:21am
Its very bad , God ne mujhe itna dukh dene ke baad bhi again n again mere life mein koi khusi nhi mil pata he. Jo mein expect kar ta hun milta nhi he. Mene itna kya gunna kya he ya paap. Well I understood lil that God not give this .. its our destiny.  I think i hv done any big sin , thats why im getting my punishment.  Actually matter kya he God knows only.
Today was fine quite.  I'm with mom and came to uncle's home.  Evening was fine too. I think I slept lil earlier around 10:45pm ... I hv lil happiness after bad internet I able to talk with her. Due to congregation she can't talk me, but she commitment that she'll.  Well I wakeup around 2am and start thinking. .. why she didn't.   reason can be no time , may be she forgot may be she don't wanna disturb.   Mobile pe to balance zarur he...  Time..... kya after congregation ke baad usko ek ya do min mila nhi Baat kar ne ke liye. Or usko achhe se paata he ki I'm expecting her call. So here no meaning of disturb.  Humesa time mujhe quarrel karne ke liye ladkata he.. quarrel karne se kya phaida koi apna true heart se karegi ya chahegi then she or he can do.  Ase mein mein kya karun. Well I'll nt show her that feeling bad or sad. Kyun ki agar mein uske liye sari life bhi help ya sabkuch karunga to bhi woh samaj nhi payega koi uske liye intna sochata he. Pyaar kar te hein... so pyaar nibhayenge . Woh jisko pyaar karti he uske liye woh karegi. I know that. ... devils r working on me... may be I'll start fight then God plz mujhe maap karoge....