Agian...

i don't know why this bad situation started in my life..... really destiny playing with human being. i think its play with me.. i think need to wait perfect time.. i thought yesterday lil quarrel but it should be become as well, but no..i was trying to stop myself to create distance between us.. but what i can did.. i try to contact 1st. but it was worsted. i had noticed she was online but only replied " i'm going ..."  but she was conversation with friends.. leave it bad day. Night ....it was a horrible night. Morning... i was mentally preparing that i never contact first. in afternoon i had to do something.  it was not possible today. so in that time i bet with my fate. if it has been done they i'll contact 1st. Hopefully  it done.... really i never forget this hard situation. ( its related my business.)suddenly i look up my laptop.. wow she is online tooo suddenly i had written.... bad, bad, bad.... stupid ...she was seeing my msgs but she ignore it.... i see it first time..that how she's . i hate myselfff tooooooo much. really am stupid ... i'm disturbing .. i try to leave internet .. but its impossible . now... i have lil pain in my head...lil temperature .. need to sleep...........i think i can't  but let's see what's next....

bleeding my love..............

i think now my time & luck is very bad, i'm losing myself . last night i had a bad night, may be i'm not yet conceit that smth had happened by me. i had slept 3am or 3:20am coz i was finding where create misunderstanding... & why happen this. why i i can't create a strong relation with my dream girl. i was so happy ...she was going to see movie (Eclipse 3) i had so interested to discuss about its lovestory , romance .....all. But that was wrong for me. she was tired ..but think & tell me...if a girl is working 11hours & then back to home..with more tiredness bad mood ( official ) . suddenly she is getting her bf call.. what have feeling in that situation . if it is bad then i should tell he is not a lover , just friend.

by the way we were continuing our conversation with touch of love happiness lil sad... in this time i was felling she was becoming lil upset.. due to my poor conversation.. & i was trying my best & changing mood but only replying two certain words .. that was strike in my brain & i stop call ...........& what will be happen in all night with her don't know yet. i can't manege & stopping my ego...

Today all day i'm waiting her response at last in afternoon she comes & msging me.. in this my i had tell ....forgive me, if smth created bad by me.. & she do it suddenly...

Now tell me..what should i think ????????????????????

                                              
                                                                                                                                    -By Rabi-

Again............

Again i disappointed with my friend.. i know this nth.. but my ego...or some bad feeling which is destroy myself... what need i do..in this situation ??????? in that time i feel she have no time for me. when i conversation with her she replying ... but when i became silent lil then she also . that was problem in that night. when i went to my bed ... i couldn't sleep coz..all night 3 or 4 O'clock early morning i was see all in my closed eyes. every time i thought is it possible that she believe in long relationship or she also think about me. i don't knw..but when honney telling me that lov u ... chomk )) like this i feel she near with me... hug me.. & never she leave me. its not true..may be. coz every body acting here on a special roles. now she becoming a part of my life..which i can't leave. but now still three day i'm silent & she also. she don't trying to meet me or contact me. after all this thing i thought that she may don't understand my feeling.. & again i trying to conversation but she deny ....yes i know that mom always so streak .. but after three day when i call... simply need to receive then u can be told sorry ..we can't talk today ...tomorrow . but......... that was the so bad . forget taht... i have question for you that she loves me. or playing with me. or what.
or this is only dream..?????????????????????????????????
By Rabi

1st day with my friend's mom....

Yesterday I was drunk .. Only one....I know plenty of addicts was engaged yesterday to ... before mid night i was talking with my dream girl.... & may be you know that i can't hide some secret of me. that's why i also told her truth. afterthen she also share with me a lil things that its not good but she was also took 3 year ago. but one another strength that her friends drink & smoke in unusual time & public places i mean at school.... its harm but smoking ..... its very dangerous... AND main thing that i promised with my sweety that i never smoke...

one things which change myself from yesterday when i was talking with my gf's mom.
i'm pleasure that she know me... may be at this moment i can't believe myself that i conversation...with mom. i was trying to respect ....but i can't coz... i hate myself i can't learn yet russik. extremely sorry ... i want told you that " Здравствуйте mom, respecting you.. i'm your daughter's friend who belongs from 7000 miles apart . .......

By Rabi...

Smth in my Mind................

Really you are becoming a part of my life . Where I can’t think myself without you……You are just a sweet honey bee for me….. You also know that without honey sunflower is the worst. I liked to be with you … but somewhere we are little dismiss from our lines . In that time we covered under a dark cloud ..... Its God given to that changes our mind & thats why again we see each other. After all it’s a relationship,  whatever you can give named .  In afternoon sometimes you play at outdoor. Suddenly raining & everybody getting surprised. While no reason... for sad or  angry, bad feelings comes in our mind & we are distracting from our dream...... I'll be write later........

                                                           

                 -By Rab!-